I have a few girlfriends that are daring and love adventure. A safari in Africa, riding in an open Land Rover with a tiger following close behind. Crossing an unsteady swinging rope bridge over a river of alligators. Bungee jumping. Zip lining across high mountains. For all their courage, I’m sure they still own their private fears.
Just like our characters.
I’m not drawn to daring stunts. I don’t like dizzying heights.
Or hungry reptiles and animals.
Or crazy tilt a world rides at fairs.
Is it fear that keeps me away from such things? Perhaps. If so, I am a contented coward. Yet I can face some things that would make a grown man cry. Dental work. Root canal. I don’t like it. But I can deal with it. Most of the time : ) I also have courage to stand up for my personal convictions. Sometimes at the cost of misunderstanding from others and the loss of friends or the loss of a job. I don’t like speed yet I love the momentum of a plane taking off. We’re all a strange mix of fears and courage.
Just like our characters.
There are so many types of courage. A soldier in battle. A person facing a life threatening disease. A mother raising children in this generation. A firefighter entering a house ablaze with flames. It all takes courage.
I’m wondering…
What are you afraid of?
In what areas do you show courage?
How can you relate these things in developing your characters?
boy, Cynthia, when you said a mother raising children in this generation, that really resonated! Great thought-provoking post. I’ll be ruminating on this while I consider my characters’ unique forms of courage.
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Comment by Kathleen L. Maher — September 29, 2012
Hi Kathleen, my Genesis award winning friend : )
Yes, I can’t imagine how difficult it is to raise children in today’s society. I find the topic of courage to be interesting as there are so many forms of bravery.
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Comment by admin — September 30, 2012
Cynthia, what an awesome segment–thanks for having the courage to share with us (truly, no pun intended). I joke around by saying that I have the courage to get out of bed each morning, but in a way, there’s a lot of truth in that. This world is a scary place. I’ve had less than stellar things happen to me in my past that if I let it seize me, I’d never step foot into the future! Each day there are new concerns, a variation of obstacles to face, health matters, family, personal needs & desires getting tossed to the side once again because other people & things must come first. But, the other part of my line about being brave enough to get out of bed each morning is that I tell others that if it weren’t for my firm belief that God loves me, that He’s here for me, and that He’s holding my hand–all bets would be off!
This is such a great topic that I’m going to Tweet about it 🙂
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Comment by Elaine Stock — September 29, 2012
Hey Elaine,
I think we all feel like that some mornings, hesitant to face this uncertain world we live in. We are blessed to know that Jesus will bring us through it all. And only He can give us the courage we need to face the future.
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Comment by admin — September 30, 2012
I love allowing my Bitsy character to experience my own successes and confidences, fears and failures…even though she’s a kid!
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Comment by Vonda Skelton — September 29, 2012
Vonda,
But Bitsy is such a fun kid! And I know a lot of it is patterned after your own childhood which makes it all the more interesting…
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Comment by admin — September 30, 2012
If you separate out the things I don’t do because of fear from those I avoid because of an illness factor, there’s not much left that I’m truly afraid of. One by one God has helped eradicate my fears and phobias, helped me acknowledge that no matter what, HE’s in control of my life. That’s not to say I’ll do anything reckless and put Him to the test where He says I shouldn’t (thus bungee jumping is out of the question), but at least I’m not cowering in terror from life anymore.
One of the things that stands out in my mind as still terrifying though, and I know one day God will challenge me to face it and let Him have it. FLYING. He and I have an understanding on that one, so I’ll know when I’m supposed to face it. All the logical arguments in the world do nothing to allay this fear. I’ve heard them all, discussed them with people who fly all the time, researched them all. I’ve learned how planes fly and stay in the air. I’ve learned about pilots and their training. I know plane crash statistics. I know how many people are killed in car accidents or attacked by sharks or struck by lightning compared to airline disasters. I’ve learned all that kind of stuff. But the fear remains. I know only God will overcome this one. I got on a plane a few years ago, thinking to conquer this fear. It was a really bad experience due to severe turbulence which caused me to end up physically ill (I get motion sick easily). Needless to say, that didn’t help matters. But hey, at least after all these years I can watch a plane fly overhead without getting nauseous like I used to. That’s improvement. *G*
One thing I’ve found over the years as God has helped me face a variety of fears is that some of them I was able to release quickly, others took time and practice. I use that with my characters. Some things we let go of very easily – whether they cause guilt, anger, fear, shame, pick an emotion. Others, we need more time. Thankfully, God is patient with us. 🙂
I’ve been told I’m very bold and courageous in some ways, but I don’t see it as boldness or courage. It’s just a matter of doing or saying what needs to be done or said because it’s the right thing to do. I don’t necessarily see that as courageous. It just is.
But then, I guess just having a willingness to overcome fears is a show of courage. But I’m not the source of that. I already tried it on my own and failed. Only God can give such courage. 🙂
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Comment by Dawn Turner — September 30, 2012
Thank you Dawn, for your honesty. I think your fear of flying could be used in a positive way- in writing an interesting character trait : ) You described it well. Very true that some fears we are able to release quickly, others take time. I think if we realize that, we can deal with them in a more productive manner.
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Comment by admin — September 30, 2012
Trying to keep my heart from breaking while watching my dad waste away from cancer this month required something I did not have: courage. He was more than courageous; he was grateful for every moment of life. As a family, we also cherished time albeit with bated breath. Dad lived just a few days past his huge, long time in the planning, 85th birthday celebration; which is what gave him a reason to linger just a little longer.
Before dawn one morning, during this ordeal, I woke up with this thought: “It is not the absence of fear but the presence of courage.” It was such a powerful statement that I wrote it down. Acknowledging the fear is human, accepting God’s gift of courage is faith.
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Comment by Melody — September 30, 2012
Melody, my friend. So sorry to hear about your dad. Amazing that he made it to his birthday celebration, what special memories. God’s gift of courage and His great measure of grace with keep you through this hard time. So glad you had time away with your husband and congrats on 40 years! God has truly brought you through so much these last few years. He is ever faithful.
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Comment by admin — September 30, 2012
Just a side note: today celebrates 40 years of marriage and my husband and I just returned from a week in St.Augustine overlooking the majestic, inspirational, powerfully awesome Atlantic Ocean. We savored every moment which did not require any courage from our grateful, though saddened, hearts, however, it is the courage that is helping us celebrate life. . .all of it.
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Comment by Melody — September 30, 2012
Oh boy — there are lots of things to be afraid of. Currently – one of my biggest fears has been found in my house lurking around — SPIDERS!!
I don’t know why, but I have always been afraid of creepy things like that. Of course, there are other, bigger things that cause me to be panic-stricken. I don’t like to fly, but I do when necessary — I just don’t sit near the window and try to ignore the turbulence, and hum alot!
A few years ago, I conquered the fear of something that I didn’t realize I was afraid of when I hopped on a motorcycle with my husband. Once we were out riding a few times, I grew accustomed to the cars and big trucks zooming by – with nothing but air between us.
This gives me something to think about too — in the novel I’m working on. I haven’t really explored the characters’ fears — something to ponder…
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Comment by Connie Clyburn — October 1, 2012
Connie,
I’ve got a really creepy spider story to tell you when we were camping one summer in a cabin : ) It’s so interesting to read these responses as we all have different fears. And they all seem such great material for our characters. We can write them well since we are so familiar with them. I’m gathering new ideas from the comments…
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Comment by admin — October 1, 2012
Okay girls. Let’s give a cheer for Cynthia! This precious sister has provided us a place to express ourselves openly then give us encouragement, too. Priceless.
We have only met once. She is from NY, I am a FL girl. We met in St.Louis, MO at a writers conference in 2004! This Angel girl has been an encourager ever since. I find that amazing. Totally amazing! Awesome, really.
She has gone on to actually write and develop her talent while I have not. This might be a case of fear. Fear of success. Or fear of failure. Either one has the same result. Nothing. Nothing does not require effort, pain, or rejection. Yet, it is those things that make a writer better. Could it be that we fear the very things that God wants us to share? Words that might just meet someone where they are and give them hope for that day. In my darkest time, Cynthia’s encouragement gave me a glimmer of hope and today she did it again. No fear, just love. It wins every time. Did I mention I only met her once in 2004?
To me she is my angel girl. Literally. Love you all, Melody
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Comment by Melody — October 5, 2012
Melody,
Thank you for all the kind words. And the funny part is – I needed this encouragement today. So we’re even : ) And I have not given up on your writing. Fear of failure and success are two areas every writer faces. Just do it! Write, my dear. Out of all your wide experience, your pain, grief, joy and happiness in the different seasons of life. God will use your words. Just like He did today…
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Comment by admin — October 5, 2012
It seems that we always meet each other at point of need.
Thanks for not giving up on me and writing; most of which is one on one. Yes, by sharing our experiences we learn from each other. “We can minister the best where we have hurt the most.” It just takes a little while getting there.
Your blog is a catalyst for change!
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Comment by Melody — October 11, 2012
I won’t give up on you, Melody. I know there are words yet to be penned from your life experiences. God will help you to do it in His time.
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Comment by admin — October 14, 2012