are so much fun. I’m an October baby and I love sharing my birthday month with the blaze of fall colors. This past week I’ve celebrated by: an autumn drive through the Catskill mountains with special friends, sharing hot apple cider and fresh cider donuts at the local Carrot Barn, attending a Polish Harvest Festival at the church my parents were married in, lunch with an old and dear friend at my favorite tearoom, bouquets of flowers from my sweet husband and dinner out with my hubby and another precious friend of the family. Lovely : ) To finish it off, we’re going to a Marriage Retreat later this month in PA with my favorite people from Bethel church of LI. 

How do you celebrate your special day?

Does your past reflect how you celebrate?

I have good memories of birthdays as a child. My mother didn’t go to extremes but she always made me feel special. Cake, ice cream, balloons, presents and birthday parties. Yet not everyone has happy memories. As we create our characters for our stories, imagine how their childhood experiences still affect them today. Perhaps they never had a birthday party. Maybe they choose to totally ignore their birthday because of this memory. Or they might go to extremes and do the opposite with a huge celebration. The more I write stories, the more I realize the past does affect our choices in life.

I’m wondering – in your current WIP, how would your character celebrate their birthday?

On a positive note, thank God He redeems us from all the difficult things of our past!

                       Ouch. Have you had days like this?

We live in a world of hurt. Every person responds to their hurts in a different way depending on their background. If we are willing to examine our own sensitive areas where others have offended us or wounded our feelings in some way, we will be more skilled in writing about the hurts in our character’s lives.

One of the hardest things I struggle with is when people misunderstand me and there is no resolution. Some of those tough situations have been within churches or under a particular ministry. And yes, there have been times I’ve felt like the guy in the picture : ) Unable to stand and when I finally do get up, feeling battered and stomped on.

Usually strangers aren’t capable of hurting us too deeply . It is always those we love and care about, the wounds of a friend, family member, church congregant or leadership.

When we can’t figure out why they act like they do, if we examine their background and experience, some of their actions make more sense. They hurt others because they are not handling their own hurts well. Anger, sarcasm, bitterness, guilt, unforgiveness, and judgement in someone’s attitude may be covering up a world of hurt in their own lives. As we begin to understand this, we are more able to navigate through our bruised feelings and extend grace to those who have hurt us.

What hurts you the most? Can you trace your reaction back to your early years?

Writers, are you able to write some of these personal hurts into your character’s lives for a more meaningful story?

I have a few girlfriends that are daring and love adventure. A safari in Africa, riding in an open Land Rover with a tiger following close behind. Crossing an unsteady swinging rope bridge over a river of alligators. Bungee jumping. Zip lining across high mountains. For all their courage, I’m sure they still own their private fears.

Just like our characters.

I’m not drawn to daring stunts. I don’t like dizzying heights.

Or hungry reptiles and animals.

Or crazy tilt a world rides at fairs.

Is it fear that keeps  me away from such things? Perhaps. If so, I am a contented coward. Yet I can face some things that would make a grown man cry. Dental work. Root canal. I don’t like it. But I can deal with it. Most of the time : ) I also have courage to stand up for my personal convictions. Sometimes at the cost of misunderstanding from others and the loss of friends or the loss of a job. I don’t like speed yet I love the momentum of a plane taking off. We’re all a strange mix of fears and courage.

Just like our characters.

There are so many types of courage. A soldier in battle. A person facing a life threatening disease. A mother raising children in this generation. A firefighter entering a house ablaze with flames.  It all takes courage.

I’m wondering… 

What are you afraid of?

In what areas do you show courage?

How can you relate these things in developing your characters?